Lately life has been very confusing. I say that like it ever made sense to begin with, hahaa. I am just confused as to what to do with my life. Its not so much not knowing, its more a factor of choosing. Choosing and me have never gone hand in hand. I'm that person who goes to CVS for shampoo for an hour just to figure out what kind of shampoo I will purchase. Indicisive should be my middle name.
Because I have not had anyone to talk to nor the time it stayed bottled up inside me and I broke down last night while I was watching T.V. with my mom. I could tell she was pretty shocked because according to her I looked like I was okay even though she sensed something has been bothering me. Of course, seeing has I couldn't even get the words out of my mouth my mom was thinking the worst..."DID SOMEONE DO SOMETHING TO YOU?!" I attempted to phrase my "issues" as simple as I could as I was to busy crying my eyeballs out. Once I said "I am just so tired. I don't know what to do."I just felt my mom hug me and try to talk to me. She's very good at that, mind you she can easily upset me but she also placates me without effort.
I can say I woke up the next morning with a better attitude. I felt refreshed. My mom's "There is nothing in life that has no outlet or solution except death. From death you cannot come back from." In other words...Things suck sometimes, life sucks, people suck, responsibilities suck but they should not hinder you from happiness and like everyone in life there are tough times but we have to learn how to pull ourselves out of misery and work towards the life we want.
Right now I am having a tough time career wise, and her words were comforting and so was her reassurance of her support in whatever I choose to do. However, sometimes the best thing to hear is just that "everything is going to be okay". I know some people detest the saying or find no meaning to it but for me when my mom says it, it provides a hope and reassurance that everything IS going to be okay.
My point? Life is gonna suck, ALOT but we have to keep going and keep on believing that someday things are going to be okay. That even though we will have a bajillion and one more bad days, there will also be a bajillion and two good days.
-L
